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fuck everyone!

You know. The girl I'm in love with died and the boy I'm in love with doesn't want me. Go figure. I didn't have other men, it was just him. And I think she died thinking I didn't feel the same way.  Here I am, alone. Never able to have the people I desire. I'm used to it. At least I have myself. I mean, I'm not that bad right? I make cool stuff, and cook n bake delicious foods.

 I feel an awful lot like some sorta punk rock housewife these days.
Cept I'm not married an' I don't got no babies runnin around me.

I'm stoked for Halloween. My costume is basically cooler than you.

Its that time of the year, where I just wanna sleep and eat. Sleep n eat. All day long. I have no motivation, absolute depression. Its cold out, I just wanna be warm. I almost desire the touch of another person. Too bad I'm picky. I have such high standards. I'm so vain. I bet I could be in a relationship. I just don't want to. Not with any of the people who throw themselves at me. I won't settle for second best.  I know what I want and I won't settle for anything less.

waking up lonely
with thoughts in your head
lovers from past infused in your dream
all you have is memories
and that never suffices.

An empty heart
like hell frozen over
I think I have met the boy of my dreams.
Motorcycle, tattoos, peircings, sweet, tall, skinny, irish, green eyes.

I have restored faith in the male gender.


So I met this boy.
I really like him.

I'm gonna really try not to screw things up here.
I think he likes me too.
I should give it time. Not rush things.

All I know is, my heart won't stop fluttering and the butterflies are ready to fly out of my open throat.
I haven't had a boy make me feel this way for a very, very long time.


Sep. 24th, 2009

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